Yesterday Andrew made me laugh. I was ashamed at myself over my self centered, me glorified, puffing up type motivation for wanting to engage in relationships for the gosepel. I often get “filled” enough to feel good about myself…that I am doing the work I’m supposed to be doing. Lame. I know. And I was ashamed to see my heart so weakly loving, so half heartedly motivated to be encourage Christ in everyone. This may not make sense- that’s okay. You can ask me about it more later.
After I had shared with Andrew, he said, “Let’s call these God reminders.” Then he proceeded to say something like this in a little, this is from God, voice: “Amanda… you can’t do anything on your own. You need me. I’m glad you want to tell others about me. I love you. You love me. That’s it. Bye.” haha! I laughed. And this morning I had a little God reminder for him too 😀
Yesterday at church was SOOO encouraging. First we had our prayer time for our homegroup before church which was great. Andrew & I really enjoy these times. Then right before worship a friend of mine looked troubled. I asked her if she was okay and she said her heart was hurting for a family in our congregation. She shared the story with me and told me that the pastors were going to address the issue this morning. I cried out to God when I heard what had happened. I thought of the verses that describe God’s righteousness as a mountain and his justice like the deep waters of the ocean. He’s perfect and I just melted in tears and awe at how just, loving, dicplining, and right he is. His love is awesome. My spirit groaned I feel in sync with the Holy Spirit over many things yesterday and it was great to be connected to God.
Our pastor then shared the tragic situation that has just recently fallen on our family members. The husband is in jail, fixing to be taken to a drug rehabilitation center in Georgia, far away from his children and wife; she may have to go back to work instead of homeschooling. Ray read the wife’s letter to the church regarding the situation and the long painful struggle with fighting an addiction and calling us to pray. Many of the leadership had known about his struggle and he’d taken so many actions to fight against it. Just recently he fell and he was arrested. I could hear so many, including me crying out and tearful of the news of what had happened. They are really great people. We all cried out together on their behalf. My heart, I felt, was grieving in tune with the Spirit. It was truly humbling and sobering.
We really appreciate the love, openness, leadership that our local church holds out. We really feel like family and I’ve been so blessed and thrilled to be apart of this sweet fellowship.
We had our friend Benji come over and share with us some thoughts regarding financial decisions to make or think about, how to achieve our goals, etc. It was good, but afterwards I just melted into Andrew’s arms. I’m so thankful for a friend by my side. I am thankful we are journeying together in all these new challenges. There are so many “money factors” to think about; if I’m not careful I will start to panick or get worried about the future. Will we be able to pay for our children’s college tuition? Will we have anything to live off of if something were to happen to one of us or both of us…etc. The list goes on. But I’m not alone. God will hold me fast to himself. He will give me faith to believe in Him I have all I need and he knows what I need.
His righteousness is like a mountain. It is a firm foundation.